Fourth Grade's out for Summer
by Peppermintz
Summary: It's the last day of fourth grade, and Stan & Cartman have the perfect pranks planned on their teachers.


_Disclaimer:__ I don't own South Park or it's characters._

_Author's Note:__ This is just a one-chapter, short type story. I know this is kinda crappy, as I wasn't entirely awake when I wrote it all. I would love if people review it though. Thanks!!_

* * *

School was almost out, and they had the perfect plan. Fourth grade was going to go out with a bang, because on the last day they were going to pull the most _awesome_ prank ever. Well, at least awesome in Stan and Cartman's eyes. Kyle wasn't invited to participate; they knew he would only drag down their plans, just like that one time when they toilet-papered the art teacher's house. They couldn't risk being ratted out again, so they had to make sure Kyle didn't know about it. Kenny, on the other hand, was dead, so he wouldn't be helping out much. Everything was kept of the utmost secrecy until the very night before the last day.

Dressed in black from head to toe, their normal puffball hats were replaced by black beanies. Cartman went over the "secret" list for the third time just to make sure they hadn't forgotten anything.

"Mayonaisse?" he began, reading off the supplies they needed.

"Check."

"Skunk?"

"Check."

"Cow poop?"

"Check."

"Dead baby animal fetuses?"

"Cartman, those aren't in the plan." Stan grunted, annoyed.

"Ay, If you weren't such a hippie, it would be a cool idea!" Cartman retorted.

"Don't tell me you _actually_ know of a place to get them." Stan said disgustingly.

"_I have my connections_." the other snorted evilly.

Stan shook his head. "Whatever man, lets just get this stuff into the wagons." he said, piling a bag of stinky cow manure into a red pine toy wagon, the words "Snappy Boy" written across it. "Aw gross, this shit stinks!" he complained. "Isn't that the point?" Cartman said with a smirk. They continued piling everything into the two little wagons. When they were all finished, they hooked their big wheels up to the wagons and set off into the night, heading towards the end of the neighborhood where school wasn't far beyond. Before they got very far, Cartman was already panting with fervor. He slowed down to a rolling haste behind Stan, who was still keeping pace. Stan didn't realize it until he glanced behind him, only to see Cartman peddling slowly nearly a block away. "Come on fat boy! We don't have much time!" he yelled. "Ay! I'm going as fast as I can!" the fat boy huffed, trying to pick up speed.

Cartman continued to tug behind Stan for the rest of the ride until they finally reached the parking lot of their elementary school. Stan screeched into the back of the lot, doing a rubber burnout with his tires (yeah, I know big wheels are plastic, but whatevah). He hopped off the tricycle then dragged it behind one of the bushes, leaving the wagon disconnected. Meanwhile, Cartman rolled in at a mammoth pace. When the bike finally slowed to a stop, he tumbled into the grass trying to catch his breath, not much unlike an old person recovering from a seizuire. "Jesus, we barely even rode a mile!" Stan laughed. Cartman took a final exhale and then sat up, giving Stan the finger.

"Alright, we have to disguise ourselves." Stan said. He took out a small tube of black lipstick and smeared it over his face like war paint. Cartman rose an eyebrow. "Dude, _lipstick_?" he snorted. "Yeah, I stole it from Shelley. She got it last year for halloween." Stan defended. Cartman just looked at him strangely, obliging him to continue. Stan sighed. "Don't you watch movies? They always draw black marks under their eyes before breaking in somewhere, I think it keeps you from getting caught or something" he continued, throwing the stick at Cartman, who flinched at the thought. "_No way_ am I putting that germ infested crap on my face! Your _sister's lips _were on that!" He said, cringing at the tube of year-old makeup. Stan looked down at the stick. "Oh my god, your right!! AHH!" He shouted, realizing that it did indeed have his sister's germs on it. "Dude, you're gonna get herpes now!" Cartman yelled, laughing hysterically. "Or worse, AIDS!" Stan broke out in a panic and tried to wipe the war paint off with his shirt.

Cartman rolled his black gloves on and started picking up stuff from the wagon. "Alright man, don't get your nuts in a knot, we need to stay focused here! Let's get ready to go in. You carry the poo, and I'll carry everything else." he pointed to the bags of manure. "Aw! Why do I have to carry bags of shit? I already carried them in on my wagon here!" Stan retorted.

"Stan, you've probably already got herpes, gonorrhea and cancer, you can't possibly contract worse germs than that."

Stan furrowed his eyebrows and grumbled, picking up the dufflebags while Cartman collected an armful of other junk. "Dude, we should have got Butters to do this." he complained.

"Already tried, he's grounded." Cartman replied.

"Figures." Stan huffed, while dragging the dufflebags along the ground. He covered his nose with his shirt at the smell.

They made their way to the side of the school where there was a double door entrance. Cartman pulled out a pick and began fumbling with the lock. "Hmm, I think it's stuck." he said. Stan pushed on the door, and it opened instantly. "Oh, whatever!" Cartman rolled his eyes.

Looking around inside, they could see that the hallways were dark. It looked like the coast was clear, so they entered the building and headed for the east corridor. They snuck into Mrs. Choksondik's classroom first. "Alright, your the skinny one, so its your job to sneak into the ceiling and set up the bucket." Cartman said. Stan mumbled to himself. He completely forgot about having to climb into the ceiling. For once, he wished _he_ could be the fat kid.

"Okay, but you're going to have to keep a lookout. It'll just take a few minutes." he replied. Cartman gave him the 'A-OK' signal, and then Stan preceded to climb up the janitor's ladder. He removed a cheap ceiling tile from above the teacher's desk and got to work. A pile of dry dust fell down, hitting Cartman directly in the face. He flinched and sputtered, spitting the dust out of his mouth. Stan looked down and saw Cartman covered in white dust, like a cheap ghost from a movie. "HAHAHA!" he laughed, pointing down at Cartman's disgruntled, powdered face.

"Stan, I'm seriouslah, I'll knock you off here!" Cartman growled, shaking the ladder. Stan just kept laughing. "Looks like you had too many powdered donuts!" he mocked. "Tell me about it, Charlie Blackface!" Cartman grunted. "Alright, stop shaking the ladder! I'm almost done, get me the bucket and the rope!" Stan commanded. Cartman grumbled and handed a large plastic bucket up, followed by a coil of rope. Stan climbed to the very top of the ladder and looked up into the ceiling. He hoisted himself up upon a wooden beam and scooted along it, pulling the rope with him. The rope itself was tied to the end of the bucket, which then coiled over a pipe and went to the opposite end of the room's ceiling. Cartman got to work on filling the bucket with cow poop while Stan neared the opposite end of the beam. He pulled out another ceiling panel. "Alright, bring the ladder over." he shouted from above. Cartman carried the ladder to the back of the room, and they pulled the end of the rope back down to the ground again. Stan crawled down the ladder. Completing their plan, they carefully hid the end of the rope behind a flag on the wall.

"Sweet." Cartman said smugly, admiring the trap.

Stan looked down at his Terrance & Phillip watch. It read 11:34 PM. "Dude, it's getting late! Let's hurry and get the rest of this stuff done before we get in trouble."

And so, they preceded to set up the rest of the crazy pranks which they'd been anticipating the prior month. For each teacher that had ever screwed them over during their past 4 years, there was an elaborate prank planned.

Since it was their last year at South Park Elementary, they were going to break as many rules as possible.

* * *

The next morning, the two of them arose early to arrive at the bus stop on time. Cartman greeted Stan sleepily as they stood waiting in the snow. Stan yawned an incomprehensible response. Kyle arrived later, and could instantly tell that something was up. Nobody got here earlier than him. "So what were you guys up to last night?" he asked curiously. "Ah, nothing, just watching the Terrance and Phillip marathon." Stan said casually. "Yeah, that was totally sweet." Cartman added. "There was a Terrance and Phillip marathon?" Kyle asked suspiciously. "I was watching TV too, but I didn't see any Terrance and Phillip on." Stan knew that Kyle was testing them, and let out a supressed laugh; he wasn't very good at lying. Cartman soon joined in on the snickering. "What's so funny?? Let me guess, you guys were up to trouble last night and didn't want me to know, because you think I'm a _big_ tattle tale who can't keep a secret. Am I right?" Kyle said. "Damn, he's good." Cartman shook his head.

"I knew it! What did you do?" Kyle looked worried; he was hoping they didn't do something that would get _him _in trouble, especially with his mom. "Don't tell him, Stan." Cartman threatened. "God dammit, I wanna know what it is!" Kyle burst.

"Jesus! All we did was sneak into school last night, to set up pranks on the teachers. We didn't get much sleep because of it." he blurted out.

Cartman's expression suddenly turned sour. "God dammit, why'd you tell him?! Jew-rat will tell the teachers before we even have fun!!" he yelled, shaking a fist at Stan. "Don't call me a jew-rat, asshole!" Kyle gave him a mean glare. Stan broke into the middle of their brawl. "Kyle, you won't tell anyone about this right?" he begged pleadingly. "No, I won't tell anyone. What kind of pranks _are _they, anyway?" he inquired. "Oh, we've got a couple things planned. We're getting the teachers back for all the years of hell they put us through. I can't tell you what it is, but it's gonna be sweet." Stan said. "Hell yeah it is! And since it's our last day anyway, we can't get in much trouble for it!" Cartman added.

"You guys, I don't think that's really a great idea." Kyle said. "Kyle, don't worry. It'll be funny, you'll see." Stan smirked. Kyle, however, looked a little unsure of their whole plan. Things always went awry in South Park. "I dunno you guys, I just have a bad feeling about this." he said.

"Kyle, I swear, if you don't stop being such a negative nancy I'll break your neck!" Cartman grumbled.

"Whatever, fatass. The only necks _you_ know how to break are fried chicken!" he retorted. "Ay, fuck you hippie!!" Cartman furrowed his eyebrows, shooting daggers with his eyes.

Just then, the schoolbus approached.

* * *

Having only had a half-day of school that day, the duo of troublemakers spent their free time in between periods setting off little pranks here and there. Whoopie cushions, misplaced objects, it all went by smoothly as planned; nobody even suspected it was them. But it wasn't until the last period of school that they were able to carry out their final plans. They had their last class with Mr. Garrison, and there was only about a half hour to go before school was officially out. Unfortunately for Garrison, he was the very first on their final hit list. They sat near the back of the classroom waiting for the right moment to attack. When Mr. Garrison finally turned around to face the chalkboard, Cartman tapped his pencil on the desk to signal it.

Just as planned, Stan and Cartman pulled out two Chewbacca masks from their bookbags and slid them over their heads as disguises. Though it wasn't a very good disguise, considering Cartman was still the fattest kid in class; chewbacca mask or not. They both jumped out from their desks, pulling out two toy bazooka guns filled with eggs and fired away at the teacher. Rotten and smelly eggs in that case, filling the classroom with a pungent smell of sulfur. The eggs splatted all over Mr. Garrison's lovely fleece sweater, a few even hitting him in the face. What remained of the eggs splatted onto the floors as students looked on in shock. A few students had trouble controlling their giggles as Mr. Garrison's expression turned into a level of rage they had never seen before. Before the teacher could yell at them though, they ran out the classroom and headed for the next victim on their list. They arrived just in perfect timing. Like usual, Mrs Choksondik was sitting on top of her desk talking to her students about something stupid. They snuck in through the doorway without effort, and Cartman yanked on the secret rope behind the flag.

_SPLAT!_ The bucket toppled over in the ceiling above, releasing a pile of cow dung right onto Mrs. Choksondik's head. "AHHH!" she screamed, jumping back in shock. She ran across the classroom screaming in disgust, her large appendages flopping about with her. The third grade classroom broke out in laughter at the sight. Mrs Choksondik tried to chase after the two fourth graders, but she slipped in the pile of poop on the way out. By the time she got to the hallway, they were already out of sight.

They headed for Mr. Mackey's office next. He had the door shut and was having a heart-felt speech with two students when they arrived. That, however, didn't stop them from busting the door open and giving Mr. Mackey his special surprise. _Cold spaghetti_ and mayonaisse surprise. Mr. Mackey jumped in terror as a bucket of cold, gooey spaghetti noodles and mayonaisse spilled all over him, ruining his work attire. "W-What the hell is this?!" he yelled, grabbing blindly for the two children responsible. Stan and Cartman made a close escape through the door, but Mackey caught a hold of Stan's coat before he could get away. Cartman scrambled out the doorway in a haste. "Uh oh.." Stan quivered.

Cartman's escape wasn't all too successful, because seconds after he ran into a mob of angry teachers and staff members. One teacher was splattered in eggs, another covered in dung, and another one smelled like a skunk. Principle Victoria came out with a blue coffee stain around her lips and a desk chair stuck to her butt. A squeeling pig randomly escaped from one of the classrooms and took off down the hallway. Mr Mackey dragged Stan into the hallway by the collar. "Now just what the hell is going on here, M-kay?!" he yelled. By now, many of the students from the classrooms had peered out through the doorways just to see the what was going on. Most of Mr Garrison's 4th grade class ran out of the classroom to watch the scene. Mr. Mackey grabbed the other student as well and pulled off both of their Chewbacca masks, revealing the true culprits behind it all. Cartman couldn't control his laughter; Stan couldn't control his nerves. "Stanley Marsh and Eric Cartman, you should be ashamed of yourselves!" the principal yelled. "You have defiled this entire school and set a muck of the whole day!" she shrieked. "Yeah, pranks are bad, mmkay!" Mr. Mackey added, wiping the nasty mess off his head and face.

"These boys have caused nothing but trouble all year, but today was simply unacceptable! I suggest they receive the _harshest _punishment possible!" Mrs Choksondik screamed, still trying to wipe the manure off her face with a towel.

The principal was just about to speak up when Cartman interrupted her. "Psh, whatevah, 4th grade is over now!" he said in a mocking tone. "I really don't care if we caused trouble! This whole school can suck mah balls! Nah nah nah nah nah nah. heh heh heh heh heh! Screw you guys, I'm going home!" He sang in a sing-song voice. With that, he turned around and casually headed for the exit doors.

"_Not so fast_, Eric!" Mrs Victoria interjected, blocking his way out. Cartman struggled to get past the principal. "No! Screw you gahs! All of you! You can clean up the mess yourselves!" he yelled. "Oh, no. We aren't going to make you clean up any _mess_. We've got something _much_ worse planned for you." The principal said, folding her arms.

"Because of your behavior, you and all of your little friends are going to be stuck in fourth grade _forever!_" The entire class gasped in horror. The rest of the teachers began to cackle evilly. "No, you can't do that!!" a little boy cried out. "Oh yes we can! We have connections with the producers of this show. We'll just tell them not to _ever _let you children grow past 9 years old." Principal Victoria continued. The children all looked at eachother in confusion. _'What show?_' they wondered. "Yes, that's right, class. Your mere existence is but a stupid cartoon, and you're all going to be stuck here _season after season_ from now on. It'll be like a terrible replay, day after day. And you'll _never _graduate fourth grade! Hahahah!" Mr. Garrison snorted. The fourth graders gaped at the teachers in shock.

"No..." Stan uttered, weakly. "No!!!"

* * *

_Back to reality_

"Nooo!!" he shouted, causing all of the students to turn and look at him. Stan looked up from his desk where his head was buried in his arms. "Aw, man, you ruined it!" Cartman whispered. He looked around, recovering from what seemed like a totally realistic dream. It was still the last period of the day, Mr. Garrison's class. Everything must have been a dream. It was all..not real. That was a relief. "What..?" he mumbled, still in a daze. "You ruined it! We were supposed to shoot eggs at Mr. Garrison, then dump buckets of crap on the other teachers, but you fell asleep! You god damned fell asleep on me and wouldn't wake up!" Cartman whispered harshly, sounding extremely bothered.

"Stanley and Eric, is there something wrong that you feel the need to interupt my last class about before it's almost over?" Mr. Garrison cut in. "No, Mr. Garrison" they replied in unison. When the teacher turned his back, Cartman punched Stan in the arm. "Ow!!" he huffed quietly.

It was only a few minutes later when the bell finally rang; school was officially out for summer. Hordes of children stampeded out the doors. Some blew silly string, some threw papers around. Some even did joyous dances. Still, Cartman and Stan never got to carry out their final plans. Cartman was pissed off, to say the least. He stormed off ahead of the gang as they walked home, deciding that he wouldn't be talking to any of those assholes for the rest of the summer.

* * *

"Man, I'm going to miss fourth grade." Kenny sighed, looking back at the old building that would now be a part of their past. "Me too, Kenny." Kyle responded, tugging alongside his two friends.

"You know guys, I learned something today." Stan commented thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. "Really, what's that?" Kyle replied.

"That if you pull pranks on teachers, they might just keep you in fourth grade forever. And then we'll just become 9 year olds that keep maturing as characters, yet never age. We'll just get more and more boring with each year, like some kind of crappy cartoon or something. I'm glad we didn't do it!"

"Uhh..yeah, right." Kyle nodded, pretending to understand. He wondered if Stan had been drinking cough medicine again. But Stan suddenly interupted his thoughts, jumping in front of them on the sidewalk with glee. "Hey! I know what we can do!" he yelled. "Let's go play with firecrackers!"

"Yeah!!" Kyle chimed in as they ran down the street.

"Uh oh." Kenny sighed. _'Well, maybe I'll go out with a bang this time'_ he thought grimly to himself as he chased after his friends in the sunlight.

~~~~~~~THE END!~~~~~~~~


End file.
